I Won't - Here's Why

I am taking a hiatus from my blog. I realize that I haven't posted for a couple of weeks. The hours that I am putting in at work have made me too tired at the end of the day to work on anything new. Now that spring has finally sprung, our customers want their dogs fluffed and buffed. It is a busy time of year. I am not complaining about being busy, however. I look on it as job security.

I also will not be spending nearly as much time at my computer for some time. It is while sitting at my computer that I smoke more than I should. I am out of cigarettes. I will not buy any more. I have tried to quit smoking many times in the past, and have failed at each attempt. I am determined to succeed this time.

It is not easy. I have symptoms of withdrawl. I am not feeding my addiction of nearly 50 years, and my brain wants nicotine, and I refuse to give it any. And I am CRABBY. At this moment, I would cheerfully chew up anyone who comes near me. Mike is hiding out in the bedroom. The dogs stay away. Even the cat doesn't like me. I don't blame him. But I will not buy another cigarette.

We are spending the weekend getting rid of the smoke odors in our home. All of our bedding, clothing, towels, curtains, etc. will be washed. I am buying a new carpet steam cleaner and Mike will clean the carpets early next week. Our landlord has some primer paint that will seal the walls and ceilings so that we don't have to scrub them all, and then we will start painting each room. I hope it will be a little bit easier to deal with this when the smell of smoke is gone from our living quarters.

I am doing my level best to think positive. I spend time thinking about what to do with the nearly $300 a month I will save by our not smoking. I also think of what it will be like to have clothes that don't have burn holes in them. Or what it will be like to stay indoors when the weather is bad because I am not going outside for a smoke. This also helps.

I promise not to be one of those smug, self-satisfied former smokers. I really dislike those people. I will not frown on those who smoke. I understand how incredibly tough it is to quit. I firmly believe that I will go to heaven, as I am going through my own personal hell right now, and I wouldn't wish this withdrawl thing on anyone. Please forgive me in advance for being cranky and out of sorts. I am sure that it will pass.

I want a cigarette about three feet long right at this moment, but I won't. I won't.

And this is why I won't.

http://www.4shared.com/file/44582898/3a41d8a6/I_wont_-_heres_why.html